OMG, THANK YOU!

To whoever gave me 12 months of paid LJ time!!!

That's sooooo EXCITING and I thank you VERY, VERY MUCH!!!

I've been jumping up and down thinking of themes for it and what I want to do with it, and I just want to say again...

THANK YOU!

Sh-h-h-h-h-h...

Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting jobs.

And, it's been a most interesting hunt, let me tell you.

I told you folks about my experiences the week before I was transferred to Santa Ana with the crazy job that would have been an "out of the frying pan and into the fire" job. I was, thankfully spared a bad experience there.

This newest hunt has been rather interesting, to say the least.

( The Newest Hunt )

Either way, I should find out by Tuesday. So...

Fingers crossed. It seems like a great opportunity.

This One Was Kinda Interesting...

Snatched from lizziebelle.

I'm 70% LiveJournal!



Veteran status.
The majority of the LJ community could learn from you.

The LiveJournal Quiz

Take Other Caffeine Nebula Quizzes

Up Too Late Again

It just seems hard to get anything done without staying up late any more.

I will, of course, regret it tomorrow, but I did get things done that I couldn't have done otherwise.

I'm having trouble with my writing. I keep thinking about posting about it and trying to get the mess of confusion out of my head and onto my LJ where I can see it, but there just doesn't seem to be time to sort through it all.

I guess, basically, I know what's wrong. I suck. And, I guess I'll always suck.

What really kept me going before was that I had myself convinced that I could improve, that I would get better if I kept writing and kept struggling to learn.

However, I've had soooo much confirmation lately that I suck and that my rough drafts are pretty much pure crap that I'm wondering if I'm beyond help at this point. I mean, if so many people tell me I suck, than I really must suck BIG TIME, yes?

The problem is that I cannot stop writing. I will NEVER stop writing. Ever. Writing is what I do. Writing is who I am.

But it hurts LOTS to know that I can never be what I'd hoped to be and that, no matter how many times I tell myself EVERYTHING CAN BE FIXED LATER, that my mantra applies to everyone else, but not to me.

Right now, I just want to get back into my flow. I want to be able to overlook the fact that I suck. I want to be happy trying to learn and trying to improve. Even if I can't get there, I'll never stop trying.

I just want it to stop hurting so much so I can write and enjoy what I'm doing and fall in love with the stories again.

Out of the Darkness

1,230 words today

144,856 / 125,000 (115.9%)

Monthly Word Count Goal Progress:

19,605 / 31,000 (63.2%)

2006 Word Count Goal Progress:

248,369 / 1,000,000 (24.8%)