Up Too Late Again

[queenoftheskies]

It just seems hard to get anything done without staying up late any more.

I will, of course, regret it tomorrow, but I did get things done that I couldn't have done otherwise.

I'm having trouble with my writing. I keep thinking about posting about it and trying to get the mess of confusion out of my head and onto my LJ where I can see it, but there just doesn't seem to be time to sort through it all.

I guess, basically, I know what's wrong. I suck. And, I guess I'll always suck.

What really kept me going before was that I had myself convinced that I could improve, that I would get better if I kept writing and kept struggling to learn.

However, I've had soooo much confirmation lately that I suck and that my rough drafts are pretty much pure crap that I'm wondering if I'm beyond help at this point. I mean, if so many people tell me I suck, than I really must suck BIG TIME, yes?

The problem is that I cannot stop writing. I will NEVER stop writing. Ever. Writing is what I do. Writing is who I am.

But it hurts LOTS to know that I can never be what I'd hoped to be and that, no matter how many times I tell myself EVERYTHING CAN BE FIXED LATER, that my mantra applies to everyone else, but not to me.

Right now, I just want to get back into my flow. I want to be able to overlook the fact that I suck. I want to be happy trying to learn and trying to improve. Even if I can't get there, I'll never stop trying.

I just want it to stop hurting so much so I can write and enjoy what I'm doing and fall in love with the stories again.

Out of the Darkness

1,230 words today

144,856 / 125,000 (115.9%)

Monthly Word Count Goal Progress:

19,605 / 31,000 (63.2%)

2006 Word Count Goal Progress:

248,369 / 1,000,000 (24.8%)

Comments

[gategrrl.livejournal.com]

I think writing is like any other skill. Write enough, hit a plateau, then you'll improve, hit another plateau, etc. Plus you have to have legitimate feedback in order to improve. The worst thing you could do it stop, which you're *not* doing. And that's more than half the battle.

[melinda-goodin.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[evilmissbecky.livejournal.com]

It's so hard to fall into this trap, isn't it? Insecurity is a vicious cycle, and one I struggle with far too often. *hugs*

Focus on the positive. Remember that you have someone who is hooking you up with an agent. That's a huge step forward.

[peartreealley.livejournal.com]

Um. Hello?

I suck and that my rough drafts are pretty much pure crap

If they were becautiful and gorgeous and the Words of God, they probably wouldn't be the rough draft :)

Which is to say, YES. Your rough drafts probably SUCK MONKEY BUTT.

And so do EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD'S. Or they wouldn't be rough drafts.

Complain when you're published and the critics attack you, because they don't understand your genius. For now, just write, revise, and submit :)

[mark-west.livejournal.com]

This is very unfortunate and I hope you don't give up - did whoever told you that you "suck" have any credentials? If not, tell them to go stuff themselves and carry on and, if they do, submit and find out whether you really do "suck" or not.

I'm not suggesting that everyone has it in them to be a great writer, but rejection is a fact of life, as is doubting yourself and your ability (strikes me a lot). But the best way to find out is submit the stuff and see what happens.

Regardless of the outcome, don't stop writing! Let me know how you get on.

Credentials are an iffy thing...

[peartreealley.livejournal.com]

And if they do have credentials (she's said in the past some have published short stories... though short story writers don't always write good novels, so... (and vise versa--and I can't write a good short story)), are they credentials she wouldn't have if she also submitted stuff?

You can't compare yourself to a published or semi-published writer if you aren't submitting. Heck, you can't really even compare yourself if you are. Same markets? Right place, right time? Think about it: the biggest difference between you and them isn't quality. It's that they've put themselves out there (probably a LOT), and you haven't yet. At least, probably not as much as they have.

You know, a short story published friend of mine recently did a critique on one of my novels. The same things she told me to change are the things that got it requested by an NYC editor.

I'm not saying I'm always right and she's always wrong, but it's something to think about, neh?

[clarentine]

Slow down, Superwoman.

Take a breath, and think about your goals for your writing. Publication, I'm told, is a dangerous goal to fixate on; very little of that process is within your control. Hook your line to that machine, and it'll churn you under.

Sit back. Think about what you really want for your writing, and then pinpoint the parts of that goal that you yourself can directly affect. Figure out how to reach those parts of the goal. Once you've done that, you have a realistic measure of whether or not you're succeeding.

And I'll echo what someone above said: first drafts are supposed to suck. They're when you throw everything at the paper and see what sticks.

Hang in there.

[dsgood.livejournal.com]

"However, I've had soooo much confirmation lately that I suck and that my rough drafts are pretty much pure crap that I'm wondering if I'm beyond help at this point. I mean, if so many people tell me I suck, than I really must suck BIG TIME, yes?"

No. To begin with, rough drafts are rough -- that's what they're supposed to be. Including "A something with some kind of weapon in its paw or hand or whatever comes through a window -- oops, maybe I'd better mention that there are windows a bit earlier" and "Whatshisname duz sommthing with won of those things related to toeds that lives in ponds" and "three or fore chapters goes here."

And: Remember, there are people who think Shakespeare sucked as a writer. And hey -- Tolstoy ought to have known what he was talking about, right?

Now: How high a percentage are saying your writing sucks? Are they really saying that, or saying it could be improved?