There's a Fine Line Between Being Responsible and Being a Workaholic

[queenoftheskies]

That just dawned on me yesterday. I guess I must be a pretty clueless person.

I'd never considered myself a workaholic...I'd always called it responsible. Now, I'm wondering what it really is.

I feel responsible as a mom. I go out of my way to try really hard to be responsible as a mom because I'm really mom and dad both and, as such, I try to do the work of BOTH parents.

I feel responsible as a Controller. I feel like I need to try to take care of the company and the people who work there...especially when people who are supposed to be responsible, aren't.

I feel responsible as a writer. And, while that doesn't affect anyone but ME, it affects me hugely. Writing is my life. It's a part of me. It's who I am. And, yes, I think I'm a workaholic even in that.

But, I'm also ambitious and hard-working and I really want to succeed. On the other hand, I'm a perfectionist with no hope of ever being perfect. And, I think maybe that's part of what keeps driving me harder and harder. The fact that I know I have to work harder than everyone else because I'm NOT perfect. Maybe I'm not even very good at what I do.

There must be a happy medium out there somewhere. I think I must find it. I've been going full force for so long now that it's what people expect from me. Even worse, it's what I expect from myself.

I need some rest. I need some recreation.

Sigh...I wish I was good at the things I do.

Comments

[kmkibble75.livejournal.com]

The fact that I know I have to work harder than everyone else because I'm NOT perfect.

Let's not forget one very important thing -- no one else is perfect either. If you compare yourself to something that doesn't exist, there' sno way you can ever win.

[jmeadows.livejournal.com]

Bah, clearly you are very good at the things you do. *hugs*

[cricketshay.livejournal.com]

I'm still meaning to read your OWW post. I printed it out and it's been in my work bag for a week. I shove stuff in there and forget. yikes!
*hugs* You do need to take time for yourself. (I am today! I'm just relaxing all day long)
*more hugs*

[replicantpris.livejournal.com]

Janice, you rock. I have a story to tell you if you don't believe it, but I'd rather e-mail you with it, due to... stuff.

And you are a WAY better writer than most people. And I want to see your art. You don't know it, but I've always been confident that you're a far better artist than I am, too.

~Frenzy ;

[navicat.livejournal.com]

I feel responsible as a writer. And, while that doesn't affect anyone but ME, it affects me hugely. Writing is my life. It's a part of me. It's who I am. And, yes, I think I'm a workaholic even in that.

I completely get this! I am just the same. I work work work until I've fried my brain and then I get depressed when it's not perfect. (this is writing work not paid work - writing is all I care about in the work area anyway)

Think of it this way: Perfection is BORING! So we're not perfect...GOOD! bwahahaha

Seriously, don't beat yourself up. Feel the doubts, learn from them, grow stronger...then conquer the world (sorry, can't keep up seriousness for too long)

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

I've been telling you this for HOW MANY YEARS?

She is a workaholic, people. She thinks resting before she collapses is lazy...but only for her, not for anyone else.