Believe it or Not... (Don't Read This If You Don't Think Everyone is Allowed Their Own Opinion)

[queenoftheskies]

Not all children are bad and evil and misbehave.

Not all parents are lazy and fat and have more and more kids so they can sit at home and not work and get money for them.

Some children are raised right. Some are responsible. Some do nice things and have manners and are kind to people. Some love their parents very much. Some would never consider running around screaming in public or knocking people down.

Some children are good citizens. Some children give blood and do community/charity work. Some kids work really hard in school and get good grades. Some kids go to college. Some kids chip in the money from their jobs to support the household.

Some kids grow up to be wonderful people and very responsible adults.

Some kids grow up to have children of their own. Some kids grow up to be childfree...sometimes it's even because they've seen how hard their own parent(s) had to work to support them and know it might not be the role for them.

Some parents may not be the best parents in the world, but they love their children and they try really, REALLY hard to be the best that they can. Both for the sake of their children and because they want their children to be those wonderful people and responsible adults.

Not everyone should have kids. It's easy to tell that by going to the store or a restaurant or to a school event where there are lots of terrible kids and even worse parents.

If you don't want kids, that's YOUR business. I wish more people DIDN'T have kids. Most people are LOUSY parents.

But, if you don't like people telling you that you SHOULD have kids, maybe you should think that people who HAVE kids don't like you talking crap about them when they're being RESPONSIBLE parents. (I'm not talking about the parents who deserve bad talk.) But, just like all childfree folks aren't created equal, neither are all parents.

NOT ALL PARENTS AND THEIR KIDS ARE BAD.

I support EVERYONE's right to choose what they want to do with their own life.

Don't tell me that ALL kids are bad or that ALL parents are lazy and want to sit at home all day and have more kids to get money.

I work my ass off to support mine and to also find the time to spend with then because I love them and because raising them RIGHT is MY responsibility.

I don't ask for your sympathy. I don't ask for your approval. I wanted kids. I love my kids. I expect my kids to behave. I knew kids were hard work when I decided I wanted them. I don't mind the hard work.

One thing is for sure. My kids certainly don't bad-mouth people/specific groups of people the way you do. My kids know not to be prejudiced. My kids know that every situation is NOT created equal.

***This was prompted by some things I've read (yes, some here on LJ) and heard recently and is not directed at any one person or group. I just needed to get it out of my system.***

Comments

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

It's definitely NOT that way in the U.S.

We do NOT get 6 month paid maternity OR paternity leave. By law, you can take 8 weeks off, I think. However, if the company you work for is under a certain size, they do NOT have to hold your job for you. YOU LOSE IT!!!

Maternity leave is generally NOT paid by companies. IF you're lucky enough to live in a state that has a disability program (IF...that's a BIG if), then you can get disability. Which, I must add, is NOT AT ANYONE ELSE'S EXPENSE BUT YOUR OWN. If you're lucky enough to live in a state with disability, IT COMES OUT OF YOUR OWN CHECK FOR AS LONG AS YOU WORK IN THE STATE. You can use it for illness, you can use it for maternity leave, you can never use it if you never need it. You never get it back.

NOBODY ELSE PAYS FOR YOU TO HAVE YOUR CHILD AND TAKE THE MATERNITY LEAVE OFF.

Nobody in this country gives your child a trust fund. If you want them to attend college, YOU PAY FOR IT YOURSELF. Or they get a job!

NOBODY pays for my children's food and clothes and sheleter (etc., etc.) EXCEPT FOR ME!!! Who else is going to pay for it? Do you think the government? No! Do you think some kind person will come up on the street and give me money? No!

And, that's the way it should be. If I have kids, I should pay for them MYSELF. And, by god, I DO!!!

The only place that a family MIGHT get a break is on their income taxes. But, you know what? People get a break on their taxes for being married. Does that mean that nobody should get married and that everyone else is paying for them to get married???

AND...in this country now, you get PENALIZED on your taxes if you are "head of household", which means only one parent in the family. So, NO, I don't get a break on my taxes. I pay MORE.

So, I'd sure like to know who's paying for me to have kids and who I'm inconveniencing financially by having them.

Cause, heck, if somebody is supposed to be giving me money, who are they???

[the-faery-queen.livejournal.com]

not saying its like that for you, but it is like that over here. trust funds, paid patnerity and maternity leave, both for AND after the birth. and its not right. like you said, you want your kids, you should raise them. you shouldn't have to pay more taxes for having kids, but you should take responsibility for what you decided to do. which clearly you have done. its not the same in the uk. in the uk we seem to pander to parents. everything is about parents.

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

I firmly believe in everyone having the same benefits, not catering to just one specific group or another.

Sadly, I know it's not a perfect world and some people will continue to get more of the benefits. I don't know whether there's anything that can be done about that or not.

I do know there are accidents and emergencies and extreme situations where sometimes people need help and I think that everyone should receive help, regardless of whether they have kids or not.

On the flip side, I don't think they should be penalized for having kids, either.

I knew a really nice man. He worked where I do. Wonderful person, devoted father, took very good care of his family. His wife worked too. They had three kids and never took anything from anyone.

He was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. Suddenly, everything changed. His wife needed help because there was a problem with the life insurance and she didn't get the funds in a timely manner, and she couldn't handle everything herself.

It was not a continuing situation. Once she got back on her feet, she adjusted and carried on alone. But, I don't think situations like that are people with children sponging off society.

I think everyone needs help at some point in their life, and should get it, whether they have kids or not.

[the-faery-queen.livejournal.com]

totally. i was on benefits after uni, couldn't get a job. i am still on part benefits now (working tax credit, paid to those who dont' make enough money with their actual job) so i know benefits can help, and i dont' really begrudge child benefit or the trust fund for those with low incomes. i just begrudge how its a general thing! ANYONE with kids gets trust fund cash! even rich people like madonna probably got her 250 in the mail. its insane. that money could go towards help other people. more things need to be fiance based. make a lot, you get less. more help to those who need it, and tighter restraints so people can't abuse the system.