Believe it or Not... (Don't Read This If You Don't Think Everyone is Allowed Their Own Opinion)

[queenoftheskies]

Not all children are bad and evil and misbehave.

Not all parents are lazy and fat and have more and more kids so they can sit at home and not work and get money for them.

Some children are raised right. Some are responsible. Some do nice things and have manners and are kind to people. Some love their parents very much. Some would never consider running around screaming in public or knocking people down.

Some children are good citizens. Some children give blood and do community/charity work. Some kids work really hard in school and get good grades. Some kids go to college. Some kids chip in the money from their jobs to support the household.

Some kids grow up to be wonderful people and very responsible adults.

Some kids grow up to have children of their own. Some kids grow up to be childfree...sometimes it's even because they've seen how hard their own parent(s) had to work to support them and know it might not be the role for them.

Some parents may not be the best parents in the world, but they love their children and they try really, REALLY hard to be the best that they can. Both for the sake of their children and because they want their children to be those wonderful people and responsible adults.

Not everyone should have kids. It's easy to tell that by going to the store or a restaurant or to a school event where there are lots of terrible kids and even worse parents.

If you don't want kids, that's YOUR business. I wish more people DIDN'T have kids. Most people are LOUSY parents.

But, if you don't like people telling you that you SHOULD have kids, maybe you should think that people who HAVE kids don't like you talking crap about them when they're being RESPONSIBLE parents. (I'm not talking about the parents who deserve bad talk.) But, just like all childfree folks aren't created equal, neither are all parents.

NOT ALL PARENTS AND THEIR KIDS ARE BAD.

I support EVERYONE's right to choose what they want to do with their own life.

Don't tell me that ALL kids are bad or that ALL parents are lazy and want to sit at home all day and have more kids to get money.

I work my ass off to support mine and to also find the time to spend with then because I love them and because raising them RIGHT is MY responsibility.

I don't ask for your sympathy. I don't ask for your approval. I wanted kids. I love my kids. I expect my kids to behave. I knew kids were hard work when I decided I wanted them. I don't mind the hard work.

One thing is for sure. My kids certainly don't bad-mouth people/specific groups of people the way you do. My kids know not to be prejudiced. My kids know that every situation is NOT created equal.

***This was prompted by some things I've read (yes, some here on LJ) and heard recently and is not directed at any one person or group. I just needed to get it out of my system.***

Comments

[frigg.livejournal.com]

Weeeell, I hope it wasn't my recent rant about voluntary childlessness that brought this on. :)

I don't feel particularly tageted, but if it was then feel free to vent at me directly. *grin*

Sooo...opinions from one of these people who doesn't not want kids of her own:

First of all: Yes, I do get annoyed when people tell me to have kids. I mean, I'm not going around telling people not to have kids.

I like children. 90% of all the children I know are delightful, but then so are their parents.

If anything annoys me, then it is that some parents think it is their god-given right to let their children do as they please, because they are only children. And every one else, who just happen to be in the vicinity of a four year old throwing a 4 hour tantrum because he cannot have another cookie (yes, I've tried that) just have to put up with it, because otherwise we're inconsiderate childless, abnormal people.

I also find it annoying when C and I go to a restaurant to enjoy an evening out, and we literally have to shout to each other across the table because the children from the table at the back are running up and down the floor, screaming at the top of their lungs, bumping into the waitors and waitresses. I don't blame the kids, but I do blame the parents. If your children are too young or can't behave under such circumstances, then please get a baby-sitter/go to a more child-friendly place/stay at home. Parenting is also about making sacrifices.

Of course, if I can see that the parents are doing their best and struggling with an overtired child, then it's a different situation all together, but both the above examples were not such cases.

Being a Dane where we do not pay directly for our childrens' education, the child versus support issue goes the other way: The children of today are those who will be paying my pension tomorrow. I have nothing against parents receiving the annual child-support checks, or my friends taking 1 year maternety leave.

[frigg.livejournal.com]

Ouch! Please ignore typos and horrid grammar. It's late. *blush*

[britzkrieg.livejournal.com]

If anything annoys me, then it is that some parents think it is their god-given right to let their children do as they please, because they are only children. And every one else, who just happen to be in the vicinity of a four year old throwing a 4 hour tantrum because he cannot have another cookie (yes, I've tried that) just have to put up with it, because otherwise we're inconsiderate childless, abnormal people.

Agreed. I resent that, too.

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

I agree completely. I also resent going anywhere in public and being subjected to that. My kids resent it too.

If people cannot control their children and make them behave, if they haven't even taught them common manners, they shouldn't be taking them out...or should not have had kids in the first place.

However, my kids were not allowed to act like that in public and I didn't take them out if they were too young, overly tired, sick, etc., etc.

Parents need to be responsible. And, that's something that many are not willing to do.

However, that doesn't make ALL of us parents bad was my point.

[frigg.livejournal.com]

I agree. :)

And luckily the good parents still outweigh the bad. The only problem is it's the bad parents that stand out.

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

I agree with you COMPLETELY.

And, no, I was not targeting you. I enjoy your posts very much. :)

And, now that you mention it, our own social security system is in so much danger that I know IF I ever retire and get it, it'll be my kids paying for it. :)

[frigg.livejournal.com]

Good to know. :)

In my case it's my friends' children who'll be paying for me...that and the not insignificant amount of taxes I get to pay once I move back to Denmark (highest tax-percentage in the world).

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

Amen to that.

[fancythat2.livejournal.com]

I agree with you completely.
AND if the child is overtired, in a "Mood", hungry or ill I would hope that the parents would have pity on the child and the populace and take the child home.

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

But most parents DON'T, because it's their "right" to take the child out. We can't possibly expect them to limit their lives just because they have kids, after all. And if you complain, well, there's something wrong with you, or "you'll understand when you have kids".

[fancythat2.livejournal.com]

I don't care if folks take their kids out as long as they're human children, it's the animal children I object to. (The same way I object to cell phone conversations in the book store. Take it outside).

"And if you complain, well, there's something wrong with you, or "you'll understand when you have kids"."

*Pulls out the Sanzo fan and...whack!*

..When I have kids...Ha! I don't get that one nowadays, must be the grey hair coming in. :-> *One time I'm happy for the grey hairs*. I do, however, get the just sprouted horns and a tail look when I reply that I don't have kids.

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

I don't care if folks take their kids out as long as they're human children, it's the animal children I object to.

Usually, it's the ones with the animal children who take offense to the idea that the rest of us shouldn't have our dinner/movie/trip to the store ruined by their inability to control their pets children.

I mean, allegedly their offspring are smarter than my dog; shouldn't I be able to expect the same minimal level of behavior from them? The bar isn't set very high; my dog is a hyperactive moron.

[fancythat2.livejournal.com]

After all, animal children are soooo cute or invisible aren't they?

Hee, "pets". You're cracking me up! Thanks!

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

And the parents are also, near as I can tell, deaf, since they apparently can't hear the high-pitched shrieks Li'l Pwecious is making while he cutely destroys his surroundings.

[fancythat2.livejournal.com]

My grandma referred to them as, "Precious Pearls".
And yes, I think those parents must surely be deaf. For they would never torture everyone so cruelly otherwise.

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

I don't understand, and I also don't condone it, and, of course, I have kids. :)

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

Well, you're in the minority. Otherwise, the stores wouldn't be filled with so many squalling, obnoxious, out of control brats.

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

Exactly. They should show some common sense.

You know what I think the worst cases I've seen are? Parents who want to go to Disneyland and take their teeny children who can't possibly enjoy it yet, and drag them around for 12 hours and can't understand WHY they're tired and upset and crying and why everyone around them is glaring at them.

[fancythat2.livejournal.com]

Oooh that's a good (and terrifying) example, poor kiddies. I was picturing several events in my local Walmart. *shudders*

Common sense is a dying art.

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

But it's not for the CHYYYYYLLLLLDDDDD, the trip is to make memories for the PARENTS!

No, I'm not just being snarky; that justification is ALL OVER the Disney boards, whenever someone asks "Why on earth do people take their little babies to Disneyland when they won't remember the trip?" The answer is inevitably, "They may not remember, but I WILL."