Okay, Lady, Step Away From the Novel

Because, if you don't, you're either going to delete it, or murder yourself.

So...I stopped both crimes before they had the chance to happen.

Geez, I don't know what's been wrong with me lately. A combination of things, I think. Too many things. Too much stress. Too much not feeling well.

Yesterday, it all kind of exploded, in spite of the fact that I started out the morning trying to fight the stress and everything else involved.

By the end of the day, I was a wreck.

I hated everything I had EVER written, no matter whether it was good or bad, no matter how much I loved the story and adored the characters. I hated the fact that I had no talent. I hated everything. And was miserable.

After lots of dreams and some deep sleep last night (not enough hours, but pretty good quality), I can see the world in a new light.

That doesn't mean I won't get stressed and tired and crabby again, of course. But, I'm going to work on feeling better. The stuff I hated last night, I love again...for the most part. :) I don't hate any of it and can fix what's broken. I'm not afraid of hard work.

And, the cup of vanilla cream Dannon Light & Fit Carb & Sugar Control (that's a mouth full) yogurt I'm eating kind of makes things better.

So, I'm switching back from the editing I've been doing on "Wildfire" to some actual writing today.

I'm way behind on my olympic_writers goal and my monthly word count goal, and that makes me sad. The competitive part of my brain is telling me how many words and how much time it would take to actually MAKE these goals. I'm hopeless. Hopeless, I tell you. Maybe pathetic, too.

So...I'm taking bets. Will I? Or won't I?

I honestly don't know.

Part of me says relax, play video games, take the day off. Or, at least part of the day. Write a reasonable amount and just admit to myself that I'm not super writer and can't always make the huge goals.

The other part says GO, GO, GO! If you slack off this time, it'll be easier to slack off in the future.

Maybe. Maybe not.

I don't know.

International Embarrass Yourself as an Artist Day

Because everyone else is doing it, I'm going to play along too with matociquala's challenge, so anyone brave enough can ick and squick over something old I wrote.

Sadly, because I'm ancient and have moved 50,000,000 times (only a slight exaggeration), I have nothing from when I was a teenager or younger. Sniffle.

But, I do, however, have some crap from about 15-16 years ago, and, whew, does it suck BIG TIME. It embarrasses me even to consider posting it here and makes me relieved that my writing has improved since then!

However, it is interesting for me to look back at these old files I have (only about 10) and realize that, even then, I liked to write about aliens and magical guardians, end of the world/after the end of the world settings and parallel dimensions. I'd forgotten about this old stuff.

( Eeenie, Meenie, Minie, Moe...Which One? )

I hope nobody read this. But, still...I'm going to go cringe.

Eeeks & Squeaks

Folks asked if my "Eeek" entry the other night was a good eeek or a bad eeek.

Quite frankly, I don't know yet!

I e-mail queried an agent on "Wildfire", a novel I finished a year or so ago and have been revising.

Once I did, I felt all panicky, thinking of reasons I wished I hadn't queried it. Not the usual kinds of reasons. You guys would laugh if I told you the reasons. Honest.

Then, the next morning, I e-mail queried ANOTHER agent.

Sheesh! I must really be stupid or something.

Yeah, you folks can tell me I'm stupid.

I'm stupid.

Where Did the Evening Go?

I can't believe it's so late already.

Time flies.

Pawns of Destiny

1,500 words today

28,274 / 60,000 (47.1%)

Monthly Word Count Goal Progress:

33,929 / 62,300 (54.5%)

2006 Word Count Goal Progress:

139,497 / 1,000,000 (13.9%)