queenoftheskies

Because, if you don't, you're either going to delete it, or murder yourself.

So...I stopped both crimes before they had the chance to happen.

Geez, I don't know what's been wrong with me lately. A combination of things, I think. Too many things. Too much stress. Too much not feeling well.

Yesterday, it all kind of exploded, in spite of the fact that I started out the morning trying to fight the stress and everything else involved.

By the end of the day, I was a wreck.

I hated everything I had EVER written, no matter whether it was good or bad, no matter how much I loved the story and adored the characters. I hated the fact that I had no talent. I hated everything. And was miserable.

After lots of dreams and some deep sleep last night (not enough hours, but pretty good quality), I can see the world in a new light.

That doesn't mean I won't get stressed and tired and crabby again, of course. But, I'm going to work on feeling better. The stuff I hated last night, I love again...for the most part. :) I don't hate any of it and can fix what's broken. I'm not afraid of hard work.

And, the cup of vanilla cream Dannon Light & Fit Carb & Sugar Control (that's a mouth full) yogurt I'm eating kind of makes things better.

So, I'm switching back from the editing I've been doing on "Wildfire" to some actual writing today.

I'm way behind on my

olympic_writers goal and my monthly word count goal, and that makes me sad. The competitive part of my brain is telling me how many words and how much time it would take to actually MAKE these goals. I'm hopeless. Hopeless, I tell you. Maybe pathetic, too.

So...I'm taking bets. Will I? Or won't I?

I honestly don't know.

Part of me says relax, play video games, take the day off. Or, at least part of the day. Write a reasonable amount and just admit to myself that I'm not super writer and can't always make the huge goals.

The other part says GO, GO, GO! If you slack off this time, it'll be easier to slack off in the future.

Maybe. Maybe not.

I don't know.