The Jitters Are Gone And I Am Strangely Calm

[queenoftheskies]

Which I find fascinating.

The past few weeks, I've been very antsy, very nervous about finishing Ancient Secrets.

Why? I think maybe because I didn't think I could make it all come together.

Maybe there was something else. A fear that the rough draft wouldn't be something I could salvage.

Maybe there was more. All I know is that it was a little frightening.

But, yesterday I wrote without even thinking about it because I was on a roll that wouldn't be denied, caught up with the characters in the story and all that was important was writing what was in my heart and my mind.

Today, I haven't written as much, but I'm still writing, working on bridging scenes mostly, that I skipped until I was better acquainted with the characters.

I do have two important scenes I intend to finish today. The confrontation between Lilli and Agnes that includes Agnes' death (that Lilli is later accused of) and the remainder of Lilli's battle with Meliathis at the end.

After that, a few more odds and ends to write and a few scenes I left off at climaxes because I knew they'd be very easy to come back to on that last day and finish with much enthusiasm.

But, I'm not nervous. I'm not afraid. I know that I will have words on paper/computer. Those words can be changed and shifted and deleted and manipulated into something I can be proud of.

And, if I don't have the ability to turn it into something publishable at this point, it will wait patiently for me to return to it until I do have that ability.

But, it will be finished. And, I will be filled with emotion. And, maybe even shed tears of joy because this is something I've wanted for so long.

It's almost finished. And, it feels so alive.

Comments

[pjthompson]

Closing in on the end of a novel is always jittery and scary, for all the reasons you state and Just Because. But if you keep pushing through, comes the day when you're just heading towards the end and you know you're going to get there and whatever it is when you finish, you can fix it somewhere down the line. It's always that way. Congratulations on reaching the turning point.

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I've always just been stuck at the scared before and I must say I much prefer this feeling. It's...nice. :)

Congratulations

[mrsroberts.livejournal.com]

Good job! Is this the first novel you'll have finished? I can't wait until I'm there too!

Re: Congratulations

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

This is actually the third novel I've finished, but the first in my series. The series is so important to me and it's taken me so long to decide the best starting point for it that this novel means a LOT to me. :)

Best of luck with yours, too.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Wow! Almost finished... *sigh*

Go Janice! *\o/*

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

ALMOST. Whew. I can't believe I'm actually this close this time. :)

Thanks.

How are things with you?

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Getting clarity. Now, if I can just write what's in my head...

:D

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

I think I will. I love my novel and I love my characters, even when I don't always think I'm the best writer in the world.

This will be a HUGE step for me. Possibly the biggest step for me. I have two other novels finished, but one was from 14 years ago and I only have a hard copy of it, no computer file. The other, I finished last year and it needs a lot added on rewrite. It's pretty skeletal.

But, this one has been an enormous journey for me as a writer. I've waffled back and forth on where to exactly start this series, because, ultimately, it will extend both forward and back.

Once I got this book settled on, which was just last month, I think, it took on a life of its own and I knew I'd made the right decision even though it almost got the best of me more than a few times.

The project started out looking overwhelming with the various characters and plot threads and the ways it affected past and future novels.

But, I settled in with it and loved it and nurtured it, and it hasn't let me down.

I'm going to feel like I've given birth again, I think, once it's done.

How do you feel when you complete a novel?