Beginning Again...Writing

[queenoftheskies]

That sounds so much better than STARTING OVER.

And, I guess, in a sense, it IS more of a beginning from where I left off than actually starting over.

I MUST set goals. Grr...I want them and yet I don't. I'm VERY angsty about them at this point.

However, I NEED them. Otherwise, I'm never going to really get back into the swing of things.



The problem with goals is that they make me admit that I want more out of writing than what I'm willing to admit right now. And, that seriously sucks.

Right now, my writing stays at home...except for the first couple of chapters of Beyond the Darkness, which are still up at Quill N Ink and OWW. The ones at Quill N Ink stale off this week, so then, they'll be gone. I'll probably take the OWW ones down too.

But, the goals make me think of the future. They make me realize that I MUST finish things and send them out into the world.

I MUST combat this fear that I SUCK which, of course, was fed by some of the off-the-wall comments I got from critiques.


Hmm...

I must either mature as a writer.

Or I must stop.

Thinking of myself as a working writer, that is. Striving to learn and advance. Working toward publication. I could never stop writing, no matter what.

GOALS.

For me, my direction is all in the goals.

Comments

[java-fiend.livejournal.com]

Yes, but one must set attainable goals and not set the bar so high that we won't ever achieve it. That's one way people sabotage themselves. They set unrealistic goals, they make it so that they don't have a snowball's chance of succeeding and when the inevitably fall short of meeting those goals, it can feed into one's self-flagellating sense of defeat. It's easier for that person to buy into the notion that they're "not good enough" or that they don't have what it takes. Be careful that you're not sabotaging yourself, J. You are an incredibly talented person and you have a passion and dedication that is entirely admirable. Don't set yourself up to fail, J. Set yourself up to succeed. Because you will if you let yourself.

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

The goals I want to set will be different types of goals. There will be daily/weekly, monthly, and longer term goals.

The longer term goals won't be set in stone, but I need something to aim for.

Right now, my biggest concern is finishing a couple of the novels I'm working on and revising a couple of short stories.

But, I need to break that down into steps because I can't do it all at once. I'm just too hugely busy with work and kids and everything for that.

So, the goals are designed to get me back into the swing of working on a regular basis to accomplish longer term goals and hopefully make something of myself and my writing some day.

[java-fiend.livejournal.com]

Hey J...

I think that the original intent of my post got lost in translation somewhere. Or perhaps I just didn't make myself clear. I wasn't saying that your goals are unrealistic. In fact, when I posted that, I hadn't actually seen that list of your works. I was actually referring back to conversations you and I have had about self-sabotage and setting unrealistic goals. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was saying you were being unrealistic... that's not what I meant. I think that your re-setting of goals is terrific... I was more concerned with you subconsciously tripping yourself up, that's all.

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

Oooooh, I just misunderstood then. I'm good at that. Especially when I'm having one of my stupid days. And, with all the crap at work yesterday, I was pretty stupid.

I do underdstand about self-sabotaging. I had some great insight into that the other day and now, it's slipped out of my brain. I'm sure I'll remember it again to share it with you when I've had some sleep. :)

Sometimes, I don't know if it's actually the goals that are unrealistic. I think it's just that I don't have the self-confidence to actually take that big step forward, you know?

[java-fiend.livejournal.com]

Well, you either misunderstood or I wasn't entirely clear. I bet it was somewhere in the middle. :-)

And I'm glad to hear that you're setting your goals and getting that confidence to take the plunge, J.

Rock on!!!