Another Day, Another Dollar...But More Writing Done

[queenoftheskies]

Back to work after the holiday. Work was the pits, but maybe a little worse than usual. Too much to do, the computer's still crashed, no help. Everybody making demands for things all at the same time.

A new job would do nicely right about now.

I'm really down on my writing right now. I can see what I need to do, see how I need to weave the threads together, add the complications, make the story complex...but I'm not sure I really have the skill to do it any more. It frustrates me, makes me not want to write.

I had a really hard time forcing myself to keep going tonight. I'm not quite sure how to get over this. I feel like everything I'm writing is crap now. Don't know if any of it can be salvaged.

Beginning of the End 2198

Total word count to date 63,904

Comments

[madwriter.livejournal.com]

Let me tell you about my past week, and it might perk you up:

The last short story first draft I wrote was something I figured my wife (a picky fantasy reader) would like, so I asked her to read it, look it over, and critique it. She did, and is in the process of tearing it to pieces. I thought the story was OK (though the stories of mine I think are great keep getting bounced, and I sell the ones I never thought would sell), and was bothered by this. Then I was bothered by the fact that (yes, a little bit of ego here) I'd written a story that I thought was good but could be torn apart.

But then I remembered my complaining about wishing I'd lived in the Golden Age of SF. In those days, a lot of editors were willing to work with you on stories they thought were good (or the ideas at least worth salvaging), but not good enough to publish--the point being that the editor helped the writer make the story publishable. When Asimov, Bradbury, Heinlein, Clarke and others were all young, editors shredded their stories and helped put them back together.

I don't know how comforting you might find that, but for me, I do take some solace in knowing that the Legends of Science-Fiction all once wrote stories that the editors thought needed taking apart.

P.S. I also give myself permission to write crap. Even if I end up not wanting to rewrite or fix it later, it keeps my writing momentum going.

Thanks!

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing. It helps lots to hear what other writers go through, and how they succeed in spite of it. :)

So, how do you explain the fact that you sell the pieces you think won't sell? That's interesting.

I'd never really considered the fact that the greats might have once gone through the same thing. Somehow, I guess I'd just figured they were all geniuses and started out great.

One of my favorite quotes is:

Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes; art is knowing which ones to keep.

And, yet, it bothers me to write crap and make the mistakes...even if I fix them later. This is something I'm trying to deal with. It used to slow down my momentum tremendously. Now, I usually can keep writing, but I'm often unhappy knowing I'm writing crap.

Re: Thanks!

[madwriter.livejournal.com]

>>, how do you explain the fact that you sell the pieces you think won't sell?<<

I figure there are two explanations: One, most of the stuff that's sold this year wasn't stuff that I usually write. Each were challenges to myself, so I really didn't have a way to judge them, I suppose. But I think a lot of it was also targeting: the two magazines that have bought stories of mine so far this year were specifically looking for the kinds of stories I was selling.

>>Somehow, I guess I'd just figured they were all geniuses and started out great.<<

So did I; it was quite a revelation. Also, to add to my original list, I recently read interviews with Mike Resnick and Jack Williamson where they both said they wrote crap for years because they needed the money, before they fine-tuned their writing skills and made a name for themselves. There's also an urban legend--at least I think it's a legend :) --that Harlan Ellison will tear up certain books or stories you bring him to autograph. So even he figures that a lot of his early stuff is crap!

That's what I keep telling myself when I think I'm writing crap. That and I still don't necessarily know how to judge my own work objectively, so I remind myself that even if *I* think it's crap, someone else might really enjoy it!