In My Evolution As a Writer...Confidence

[queenoftheskies]

Another area I've evolved in over the course of this past year is confidence.

Those who know me or have read my LJ for a while know that this has been the most difficult area for me to grow in as a writer.

I've always been really quick to judge and criticize my own work, and hold myself back because...well, everyone else in the known universe and then some are much better than I am. Everyone knows that. Right?

Except that...back the end of June, after some really traumatic writing days...I decided that it didn't matter one way or the other.

I don't care if people are better writers than I am. I don't care if people are worse writers than I am. I'm not them. I'm me and I have to have the confidence that I can develop a story...MY story, not someone else's...and that I can get that story onto paper.

If it's not good, hopefully, it can be fixed.

If I need to learn how to write better, well...isn't that what writing every day is for? Crank out the words, write tons of crap, and eventually find that there are some pretty words mixed in with them?

So, I threw away the inferiority. More or less. It's still there. I know it is. Sometimes, it tries to come out to play. Sometimes, it makes me vulnerable.

BUT...it doesn't control my writing life any more!

And, that's important to me.

I write and create and I chant the EVERYTHING CAN BE FIXED LATER mantra. For, without the words, I cannot fix. Without the words, I cannot learn. Without the words, I cannot grow.

And, right now, evolution is what it's all about.

Comments

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Cat.

I think it's an ongoing battle, but not such a conscious one like it used to be.

I like to think that means I've made more progress than I realize.

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

What are you going to evolve into?

::hopes for a Wigglytuff::

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

You should know the answer to that.

Alakazam!

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

D'oh! Of course!

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

I think I might have reached Kadabra now. Which, of course, pleases me to no end. You know how I love Kadabra! It's s step up, but still gives me growing room.

Just wait for the explosion when I hit Alakazam.

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

Well, given the fact that you have never failed to KICK MY ASS playing using nothing but Kadabra, I'd say there's nothing wrong with being at that level. :)

[java-fiend.livejournal.com]

Big hugs to you. I'm so glad to see that you've shed some of the uncomfortablness with your writing. You are so talented and it's high time you realize that. :-)

Knowing the inferiority is still lurking, realizing it, is half the battle. Knowing your enemy is there can help you locate it and squish the life out of it. Good for you.

[storytellersjem.livejournal.com]

You might enjoy Wayne Dyer's THE POWER OF INTENTION. Better on audio and found easily at the library.