Well, This is It...
Sep. 6th, 2005 05:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
queenoftheskiesMy first day of work with the new owners of the company.
After everything that's happened, I'm more than a little...I don't know what I am. I'm trying not to pass judgment based on the pay cut and everything. But, it's hard to stop thinking of $250-$300 less per week on my take home pay. I spent most of my weekend worrying about it. In fact, most every day since they told me worrying about it.
But, nothing I can do but get back to work and then start looking for another job that's not too far to drive. So, I'm going to try to make the best of things for now.
I had a lot of angst about going to work today all the way up through yesterday. Then, suddenly, it didn't bother me any more.
What DID bother me was my writing again. Sigh. I appear to have transferred the angst to it. Why? I have no clue. But, when I was writing last night, I kept telling myself it wouldn't fit, it wasn't the right thing to write. I didn't hate it as writing goes. I mean, I guess the writing itself was okay for a rough draft, you know? But, I'm second-guessing myself and I'm having to beat the doubts down with a stick to keep writing.
I don't like this, but I'm going to work really hard not to let it get me down. I'm going to keep writing and writing and writing.
And I'm going to chant my mantra of...
EVERYTHING CAN BE FIXED LATER. EVERYTHING CAN BE FIXED LATER. EVERYTHING CAN BE FIXED LATER.
If the scenes don't fit here, I'll find a home for them in something else.
I'm actually thinking that, since this picks up shortly after Ancient Secrets left off, and I have the characters separating to the four winds (okay, maybe not quite THAT drastic), and just pick up with one, that the tone seems very light after the intensity of the ending of Ancient Secrets and that maybe I just don't have the feel for it yet.
Eeek. Time to leave.
Everybody have a good day.
After everything that's happened, I'm more than a little...I don't know what I am. I'm trying not to pass judgment based on the pay cut and everything. But, it's hard to stop thinking of $250-$300 less per week on my take home pay. I spent most of my weekend worrying about it. In fact, most every day since they told me worrying about it.
But, nothing I can do but get back to work and then start looking for another job that's not too far to drive. So, I'm going to try to make the best of things for now.
I had a lot of angst about going to work today all the way up through yesterday. Then, suddenly, it didn't bother me any more.
What DID bother me was my writing again. Sigh. I appear to have transferred the angst to it. Why? I have no clue. But, when I was writing last night, I kept telling myself it wouldn't fit, it wasn't the right thing to write. I didn't hate it as writing goes. I mean, I guess the writing itself was okay for a rough draft, you know? But, I'm second-guessing myself and I'm having to beat the doubts down with a stick to keep writing.
I don't like this, but I'm going to work really hard not to let it get me down. I'm going to keep writing and writing and writing.
And I'm going to chant my mantra of...
EVERYTHING CAN BE FIXED LATER. EVERYTHING CAN BE FIXED LATER. EVERYTHING CAN BE FIXED LATER.
If the scenes don't fit here, I'll find a home for them in something else.
I'm actually thinking that, since this picks up shortly after Ancient Secrets left off, and I have the characters separating to the four winds (okay, maybe not quite THAT drastic), and just pick up with one, that the tone seems very light after the intensity of the ending of Ancient Secrets and that maybe I just don't have the feel for it yet.
Eeek. Time to leave.
Everybody have a good day.
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no subject
Date: 2005-09-06 06:30 pm (UTC)Just keep pluggin' along and you're going to be fine, I'd wager.
Keep on hangin' in there, you.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-06 11:04 pm (UTC)I'm going to keep writing and writing and writing. - you're already doing the right thing here, so I'm not going to offer any (probably useless anyway) advice! :)
Keep up the chanting!!
Keep writing
Date: 2005-09-07 02:27 am (UTC)As for the job, you might look at it this way: you have a job (yeah!), and if they payed you better, you might feel like staying longer. With lower pay, it will encourage you to hunt elsewhere. You might even find something so much better you won't understand why you didn't try earlier!
Good luck!