Thoughtful
Oct. 19th, 2004 09:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
queenoftheskiesI must find a new job. Not only is work killing me, but it demoralizes me as well. I watch the horrible things that happen, the terrible attitudes, the owner not caring how he hurts people around him these days, no concern for the employees...only how much money he can take out of the company. And, I have to figure how to keep the blasted place in business...just for a stinking paycheck.
But, as a single parent, I have to have that paycheck, so I feel that I'm trapped, and I'm not quite sure what to do about it.
But, I watch the effects on my health, I watch my inability to sleep through the night, I watch it get harder and harder to drag words out of my imagination as I write in the evenings. Mornings wouldn't be as bad if I had more time and didn't have to rush.
But, perhaps part of my problem with writing is work, too...or, rather, what work does to me. I miss the great, visual cinemas my imagination used to provide me with. Now, I get photos...snapshots...but I'm missing some of the emotion I had once upon a time.
Must find a way to work within these limited abilities for the time being. Must figure out something to do about work and a new job soon.
Beginning of the End 1052 words for the day
140,218 total words to date
Still hoping to finish this monster this month. Then, there will be lot of pruning and fertilizing and heavy work to do on it.
But, even if I never have the talent to get it published, which, of course, would make me very sad, at least it'll be a complete work, and that part will make me happy.
But, as a single parent, I have to have that paycheck, so I feel that I'm trapped, and I'm not quite sure what to do about it.
But, I watch the effects on my health, I watch my inability to sleep through the night, I watch it get harder and harder to drag words out of my imagination as I write in the evenings. Mornings wouldn't be as bad if I had more time and didn't have to rush.
But, perhaps part of my problem with writing is work, too...or, rather, what work does to me. I miss the great, visual cinemas my imagination used to provide me with. Now, I get photos...snapshots...but I'm missing some of the emotion I had once upon a time.
Must find a way to work within these limited abilities for the time being. Must figure out something to do about work and a new job soon.
Beginning of the End 1052 words for the day
140,218 total words to date
Still hoping to finish this monster this month. Then, there will be lot of pruning and fertilizing and heavy work to do on it.
But, even if I never have the talent to get it published, which, of course, would make me very sad, at least it'll be a complete work, and that part will make me happy.
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no subject
Date: 2004-10-20 06:55 am (UTC)I am also a single mother, with a full-time job and a writing career. My day job isn't as horrible as yours, but it is a high-stress writing job (newspaper reporter) so sometimes it feels like all the words have been sucked out of my brain by the time I get home. This is bad for the novels.
If the job is taking that much out of you, maybe you should look for a new one. But in the event it's not possible, you still need to find a recharge. It's draining your cells, which is not only hurting your writing, but probably affecting kid-time as well.
Maybe when you get the current book finished, set aside the writing for a while and rest. Watch mindless TV (hey, sweeps are coming!). Do something special with the kid(s) on Saturday. Got vacation time coming? Save up and go somewhere. If you can go kidless, so much the better. Get your groove back. So to speak.
Good luck.