Fight...or Flight...
Aug. 10th, 2005 09:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
queenoftheskiesMy brain and I just finished having a discussion on the state of things right now and we came to a couple of conclusions. Really obvious conclusions now that I look back on them, but conclusions, nonetheless.
I'm glad we had this talk. It makes me much more accepting of my lower wordcount and of the fact that I haven't always been pleased with what I've written for the past two days.
I know that two days of not being productive might not seem like reason for concern, but the fact that my brain hasn't been processing and that I've been too pooped to pop, is reason for concern.
So, brain and I decided that once an ultimatum has been delivered, as in the case of the middle of next week is my last day of work...instead of two months down the line like I was originally told, that the stress hormones kicked in, not only physically, but mentally as well. (Which they did NOT do last time I was out of work--in June--because we were promised everything was okay and would work out. When they didn't, panic set in.)
The part of my brain that normally focuses on imaginative pursuits has turned to new imaginative pursuits. Instead of how to torture my characters and still have them win at the end of the book, it's running through scenario after scenario of bad things that could happen (most financially) and how to head them off at the pass. Being the brain of an accountant, of course, makes it take the financial aspects to whole new levels. LOL.
What's strange is that, so far, it's managed to figure out all the scenarios presented it IF one particular aspect turns out as promised. (And, after everything that's happened, I'm not a particularly trusting person right now.) But, it's looking for scenarios that won't work, so it can figure out what to do if they arise.
While I appreciate all its effort, I miss the part of me that it has temporarily overshadowed and hope that it returns soon. :)
Once I get confirmation on whether or not that one particular aspect is yay--or nay--I think it'll ease up some. Or maybe it'll ease up when the weekend comes. Or, if good news comes in the meantime.
Yes, folks, I am still the eternal optomist. It's one of my great faults. :)
I'm glad we had this talk. It makes me much more accepting of my lower wordcount and of the fact that I haven't always been pleased with what I've written for the past two days.
I know that two days of not being productive might not seem like reason for concern, but the fact that my brain hasn't been processing and that I've been too pooped to pop, is reason for concern.
So, brain and I decided that once an ultimatum has been delivered, as in the case of the middle of next week is my last day of work...instead of two months down the line like I was originally told, that the stress hormones kicked in, not only physically, but mentally as well. (Which they did NOT do last time I was out of work--in June--because we were promised everything was okay and would work out. When they didn't, panic set in.)
The part of my brain that normally focuses on imaginative pursuits has turned to new imaginative pursuits. Instead of how to torture my characters and still have them win at the end of the book, it's running through scenario after scenario of bad things that could happen (most financially) and how to head them off at the pass. Being the brain of an accountant, of course, makes it take the financial aspects to whole new levels. LOL.
What's strange is that, so far, it's managed to figure out all the scenarios presented it IF one particular aspect turns out as promised. (And, after everything that's happened, I'm not a particularly trusting person right now.) But, it's looking for scenarios that won't work, so it can figure out what to do if they arise.
While I appreciate all its effort, I miss the part of me that it has temporarily overshadowed and hope that it returns soon. :)
Once I get confirmation on whether or not that one particular aspect is yay--or nay--I think it'll ease up some. Or maybe it'll ease up when the weekend comes. Or, if good news comes in the meantime.
Yes, folks, I am still the eternal optomist. It's one of my great faults. :)
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Date: 2005-08-11 06:20 am (UTC)I'm sorry you're bouncing back and forth, up and down with all of this, Miss J. I wish I could wave a wand and make it all better for you.
All I can say is to hang in there.
And since when did optimism become a fault? LOL...
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Date: 2005-08-11 12:47 pm (UTC)Melinda