On New Year's Resolutions

I stopped making New Year's Resolutions last year, and I'm very glad I did.

New Year's Resolutions, in my opinion, are usually not much more than glorified wishes, something we WISH we could do for the coming year. Sometimes, they're reasonable, sometimes (more often than not) they're far out of reach, sometimes, they're even wannabe goals that aren't in our reach for that particular year.

So, starting last year, I decided that goals and life-style changes were more appropriate than New Year's Resolutions. And, if they're real, honest goals, taken in reasonable steps, and changes to my life for the better, they're much easier to reach AND important enough to me to take them seriously and work very, very hard to reach them.

I've already been thinking about what I want to do for the new year, and, of course, I have all those grand, glorious, lofty ambitions I have for 2005. The hard part on some of them is deciding what's REALLY within my reach for next year.

There are so many factors to weigh, especially as I make writing goals. What's reasonable? And what's not? Where am I in the writing process, in the development of my skills, and am *I* far enough along to be qualified to make those decisions?

How does anyone ever know if they're good enough? How does one learn to be objective about one's work?

And, what is objectivity?

I know lots of people have a hard time admitting that anything is wrong with their work. What do you do if your problem is just the opposite? That you feel like you have to constantly search for the problems in order to fix them...so much so that you refuse to acknowledge (or maybe even don't see) that which is right with your writing?

That is probably my biggest problem with my writing. TRUE objectivity. I'm always too hard on my own writing, too quick to criticize, too fast to cut out and cut down. I want to love it. I want to be proud of it. But, I'm not always quick to admit that.

Fear of rejection? Fear of being laughed at? Maybe. Fear of being told my writing sucks? Well, I don't think it sucks. (I don't THINK it does.)

Confidence in my writing is definitely an issue I need to address in 2005, maybe even more so than the writing itself. I think maybe the confidence and objectivity go hand in hand. I think if I learn one (either one), the other will come.

I think.

So many things to consider as the year comes to a close. So, over the next few days, I'll consider. And, hopefully, by the time Saturday rolls around, I'll understand what I need to work on the most for 2005. And, be able to come up with a plan of attack to work on them successfully in the new year.

Rainbow Connection

The weather today was ASTOUNDING. I honestly can't remember seeing anything like it in all the years I've lived in southern California.

The clouds were almost alive, changing moods and personalities all day, ranging from dark and angry, to cute and puffy, to violent and wind-tossed, drizzling, raining, storming. Awesome weather. And, more rain to make everything green.

But, the most totally awesome, cool, never-seen-anything like it aspect of it all was the fact that I saw SIX (I kid you not.) rainbows today!!! I couldn't believe it. Never in my life (and I ain't no spring chicken) have I seen so many rainbows in one day.

Two of them came as a set...a double rainbow...as I was leaving work. Another one was inside a white cloud and the colors radiated throughout the cloud.

Truly a glorious, inspirational day.

What will nature think of next?

Looking Good

Looks like I might actually have a chance of getting off for New Years. Instead of being off this Friday, like everyone else in the world, we have Monday off instead. I had to work the day after Thanksgiving (which was a company holiday) and on Christmas Eve (another company holiday), but might actually get a three-day weekend this time.

Hooray! I could sure use one.


Beginning of the End 1,076 words today

203,353 total words to date


I think it's time to sleep. Good night, world.