The Evolution of Crap

[queenoftheskies]

Everyone says you have to allow yourself to write crap, right?

I more or less came to grips with that when I decided I was going to be more positive in my writing. It was a good thing. I'm glad I did. It keeps me going when I'm kinda iffy.

But, one thing I noticed, now that I'm more open-minded, is that crap EVOLVES. It doesn't stay the same kind of crap, and sometimes isn't crap at all.

For example.

It used to be that when I had a really bad day and forced myself to write anyway, I ALWAYS hated what I wrote...whether it was good or bad...didn't matter. I HATED it.

And, oftentimes, while it might not have been utter crap, it was expansive (long and boring and reflective) or maybe it just didn't fit where I put it. Maybe not at all. It was just writing for the sake of keeping myself writing.

I'm not saying that's a bad thing because I don't think it is. It kept me writing, adding to my routine, and it gave me words. Something I might be able to change to fit or might use somewhere else. Or maybe just words to give me more practice writing.

Whatever it gave me, words are NEVER wasted. Ever.

But, now, I've noticed a change coming over those words that I wrote on totally bad days. I've had a couple of them over the past few weeks, but maybe none as bad as yesterday.

So, I've been watching my writing analytically on those days, and I've discovered it to be evolving.

Now, what I write is right on track, more or less. It keeps my story moving forward. The words usually do NOT suck.

They're NOT perfect words by any stretch of the imagination. They are lacking. But, what they're lacking, I can fix, and I see it easily, so I don't grow frustrated and want to bang my head against the wall.

Sometimes, these scenes lack emotion. Sometimes, they lack description. Sometimes, they sound more blocked out, just to get the scene in place. But, that's OKAY. At least the scene is in place; at least I'm making PROGRESS. I'm not spinning my wheels any more.

This pleases me. LOTS. I can go back and add emotion and description, and whatever else a scene needs when I edit. I'll probably do a better job when I'm not emotionally drained and half brain-dead. I know that now.

I think I'm making progress. :)